Who's afraid of the big bad body?

I would post a picture of myself being bent into the shape of the Greek letter, gamma but I am too lazy for that, and my back is still stiff.

Is this not sad? 26 and throwing your back out? There is something about this state of inactivity—this surrendering to the desires of the spasming muscle that has made me really productive and go-gettery today. Maybe it’s because I couldn’t GO ANYWHERE. I stayed away from the toxic environment that is school. There was no one to socialize with (except via the InterWebs) and a whole lot of daily goals to cross of me list! And so that is what me did!

Was Oprah the only person I felt I truly connected with today? Yes. I watched her show on women who don’t know their men and momentarily considered that I might not know my own husband. But then I chalked it up to ‘so what’ and started the day off smoothly with a Psychopathology lecture. Then I wrote more of my Pathology study guide. Then I listened and took notes on a Pulmonary Path lecture. Then another Psychopathology lecture. And maybe I’ll do another—but I feel like that’d be pushing it. I’m tired. There are NSAIDs rushing through my system along with the risotto we decided to make for dinner and all the Kettle corn I ate after that.

Although I hate getting sick or being in any kind of physical pain maybe sometimes pain is the body’s way of keeping us in check. Maybe the body’s really saying, “check ME out for a change!” Cause really, the body is in charge. And as my friend, Nic, once mentioned to me, the body will turn against you with the quickness if given the opportunity.

Today I surrendered to the pain of my aching back, bent over like a cane-less crone, and I worked my ass off. But can you imagine all the things rushing through my mind as I contemplated spinal cord lesions? Could this be due to an upper motor neuron lesion? Lower? MS? Lou Gherig’s? Med school is a hypochondriac’s worst nightmare—and we all think we have something!

In a way, today gave me a chance to press the reset button. It was me, my checklist, and the sunlight streaming through the blinds.

I hope tomorrow is just like today—just without the pain. I get it, body. You’re in charge.