tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667583726159116072024-03-13T03:40:15.466-07:00Styloid ProcessMedicine, fashion, and the metamorphosis withinJadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15141178649507067377noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1066758372615911607.post-42797101256607176682010-08-09T07:10:00.000-07:002010-08-09T07:31:20.520-07:00Not the OneThe world of running seems vulnerable, somehow. Unprotected, carrying only my keys and my wits about me. No money, no cell phone, no iPod. Only awareness, glasses, a pair of shorts, grimy rain-stained gym shoes, and invariably, a t-shirt whose manufacturing predates my birth. In this space, I feel sacred. Primitive, even. Although I am running more for sport than survival. Or maybe I am running for survival—against obesity, heart disease; complications down the line. I feel safe running. Even when the seediest male eyes scan my body, as if I’m some anomaly, or object. But, I don’t know if this is the world that I really live in. I think it’s more the world I want for myself, and for other people. I want to exist in a space where I am utterly unperturbed, where I’m not messing with anyone either. I want to be as safe in the real world as I am in my dream world.<br /><br />Apparently, that’s too much to ask.<br /><br />On Friday I boarded the Western bus with promptness thanks to the CTA Bus Tracker. I noticed a sketchy pair of teenage eyes look me up and down with a gnarly grin. Noted, registered, and set aside. But, something about this kid’s look was sinister. I chastise myself about this sixth sense all the time. I don’t want to be that girl that’s afraid of kids younger than her, or who clutches her purse on public transportation. Usually, I’m not that person until someone disrupts my peace.<br /><br />I decided to turn my concentration elsewhere and pulled out my Case Files: Family Medicine. But as I passed stop after stop, I decided to look at my phone. My old iPhone from 2008 or 2007 that my cousin gave to me. My cousin who died this year. Busted, slow, sacred and still useful. Clenched in my left hand, I surfed the web, reading to myself and passing time on my commute. And then I heard all the noise; the intentional distractions. Still, I decided that teenagers were teenagers. Some made noise and some brooded quietly. I didn’t think much of it, and I carried on. <br /><br />Suddenly, a thin set of fingers reached over the screen of my iPhone poised to clench and carry. I resisted, left hand stiffened and right hand raised in astonishment. With a quickness I didn’t know I possessed, I put my right hand over the phone already in my left and pulled the phone towards me, only to look up and see that they had bolted. Two teenage boys; both black, and one of them being the kid with the gnarly snaggle-toothed smile. <br /><br />This is the second time in 5 months that I’ve been harassed by teenage boys. The scenario is similar—public transportation, black teenage boy. In the other situation, the kid was trying to steal my personal space from me—pressing himself against me so I was fleshed towards the window, elbows waving towards my eyes. He expected me not to say anything, and got nasty with me when I did. He mentioned something about me calling the police, mockingly saying, “these niggers are bothering me”.<br /><br />I’m not sure which situation is worse. I’m not sure what kind of assumptions people are making about me. Maybe that I’m not black. Or maybe that I am black, but not black like them? The constant struggle of my life is being black and being accepted for not taking on a role dictated to me by media, or a solely black American experience. How can I be anything other than what I know? I can’t change who my parents are, the culture I grew up in, or the neighborhood I called home.<br /><br />Or maybe these instances where people take their liberties with me have nothing to do with race. Maybe it’s gender, height, class, assumptions about my age. Whatever it is, or isn’t, I am watching.<br /><br />Even when I’m running, I am watching. Even when I feel safe, I’m watching. I’m watching with restraint, with courage, with anger that I have to be watching myself, my things, my body. I’m watching my emotions. If you’re thinking about it, don’t even think about it. Because I’m not going to sit there and let anyone of any race take me for granted.Jadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15141178649507067377noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1066758372615911607.post-83914095653979146462010-05-09T16:55:00.000-07:002010-05-09T16:59:52.482-07:00Month Long Sigh <meta name="Title" content=""> <meta name="Keywords" content=""> <meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> <meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"> <meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <link rel="File-List" href="file://localhost/Users/msafiri/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/msoclip/0clip_filelist.xml"> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>614</o:Words> <o:characters>3504</o:Characters> <o:company>UIC College of Medicine</o:Company> <o:lines>29</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>7</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>4303</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:85%;">It has been a while since I’ve written anything.<span style=""> </span>Not for want of thoughts, let me tell you!<span style=""> </span>There’s a lot going on in my mind.<span style=""> </span>Most of it has to do with cell injury and neoplasia right now, but that’s not the only thing racing through my brain.</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:85%;">I guess I’m at this point where I’m wondering (yet again) how to keep moving and pushing and motivating myself more throughout the process of studying for “part 1 boards” (thanks, Goljan)!<span style=""> </span>If you read my last post you might have detected some excitement with regard to studying for the medical licensing exam.<span style=""> </span>It was there, that excitement.<span style=""> </span>But it has since waxed and waned, then returned like the phoenix from the ashes—then died again, etc.</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:85%;">Part of me enjoys having nothing to do all day but study and challenge myself with questions. But when I do <i style="">abysmally</i> on said questions, I get kind of freaked out!<span style=""> </span>I mean, my natural inclination is to lock myself into a room where I can cry.<span style=""> </span>But so far I haven’t reacted with that much extremeness.<span style=""> </span>I just keep going, even if it means my path review book is now tear and coffee-stained.</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:85%;">The whole process of medical school has had me on my knees wondering, “Can I do this?<span style=""> </span>Should I do this?”<span style=""> </span>Before medical school my level of self-doubt had never skyrocketed to such a degree.<span style=""> </span>I grew up with the mentality that I was ever capable and brilliant; that I should reach for the stars and one day float lightly throughout the galaxy.<span style=""> </span>I like that image, but at this point I feel like I’m pretty far from the Milky Way…</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">But, the human spirit is an <i style="">incredible</i> thing.<span style=""> </span>It’s the very thing that keeps me running in the morning and studying right after.<span style=""> </span>12 hours of using my brain and wondering, hoping if it will pay off—if I’ll be able to impress some residency program with a 3-digit score that somehow brands me “competitive”.<span style=""> </span>This is the dream.<span style=""> </span>But, it’s almost a little bit shallow.<span style=""> </span>Reduced to a number.<span style=""> </span>People like to talk about how degrading beauty contests are because they reduce women to a score based on various criteria.<span style=""> </span>Isn’t this a little bit like that?<span style=""> </span>Aren’t my colleagues and I being further homogenized and reduced to a score by our performance on Step 1?</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">None of my musings “matter” in the grand scheme, however.<span style=""> </span>By the time board exams are “revolutionized” I’ll probably be retired and living in Tanzania (the dream!) or running a successful eco-boutique (other dream)!</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">And it’s not so much the homogenization or shallowness of the process that has gotten to me—it’s the indescribable loneliness of being inside your head for 12-hours a day, often with very little human interaction.<span style=""> </span>I’m surprised by my reaction to this reality, being an only child and all.<span style=""> </span>I can only wonder if it’s a little bit like having locked-in syndrome, but being able to move, talk, etc.<span style=""> </span>If I could convey my sorrow in a blink, I would.<span style=""> </span>And then I would hope that it would be blinked away afterwards.<span style=""> </span>Sometimes that is the extent of my bummed out mood, but sometimes it lasts longer, and I wonder and keep hoping that this feeling of isolation and deep focus pays off.<span style=""> </span>It’s not that I don’t study with friends sometimes, or even around other people, it’s the constant preoccupation with <i style="">remembering, synthesizing, regurgitating</i>, and striving to be <i style="">impressive</i>; to feel that all of this torture in medical school is a means to an end.</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">I don’t know whether this means I’ve bought into the shallowness or not, but at least I’m being honest.<span style=""> </span>I’m scared!<span style=""> </span>My heart races when I check my scores on USMLE World.<span style=""> </span>And the only time I’m truly happy is when I’m running.<span style=""> </span>It’s the only time that I don’t think too hard about anything—I just let whatever I’m listening to sink in as my muscles contract to the rhythm.</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Be still, my beating heart.<span style=""> </span>I am trying not to worry too much—to use the heavily tested “mature” coping mechanisms, but I’m having a hard time.</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">But, whatever it takes, I’m still fighting, moving, pushing, and HOPING for some feeling of redemption at the end of this month.<span style=""> </span>In the end, I hope I at least impress <i style="">myself</i>.<span style=""> </span>Maybe that’s the real challenge.<span style=""> </span>All the expectations high-achieving people place on themselves is really incredible, and maybe even potentially damaging.<span style=""> </span>Cause for pause.</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold; font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">I think I just checked myself…</span></p> <!--EndFragment--> Jadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15141178649507067377noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1066758372615911607.post-82136151744168885472010-04-15T17:25:00.000-07:002010-04-15T17:34:54.777-07:00M2 Mitzvah <meta name="Title" content=""> <meta name="Keywords" content=""> <meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> <meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"> <meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <link rel="File-List" href="file://localhost/Users/msafiri/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/msoclip/0/clip_filelist.xml"> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>638</o:Words> <o:characters>3642</o:Characters> <o:company>UIC College of Medicine</o:Company> <o:lines>30</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>7</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>4472</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Cambria; 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mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <meta name="Title" content=""> <meta name="Keywords" content=""> <meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> <meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"> <meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <link rel="File-List" href="file://localhost/Users/msafiri/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/msoclip/0/clip_filelist.xml"> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>637</o:Words> <o:characters>3632</o:Characters> <o:company>UIC College of Medicine</o:Company> <o:lines>30</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>7</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>4460</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">I cannot commit myself to studying today.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Maybe it’s because I’ve been running ‘round like a chicken with her head cut off trying to get this poster done for a conference in Canada.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Or maybe it’s the beautiful weather.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Or maybe it’s because of</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">the butterflies in my stomach as I wait for all of my grades to trickle in.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Or maybe—JUST MAYBE (this is the big one) it’s because I am so so happy that I’ll be embarking on the Step 1 journey and starting rotations in a couple months.</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">For those that don’t know, Step 1 is like the equivalent of a Bar or Bat Mitzvah for doctors.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">No, you won’t be a doctor after taking it (just as you are not <i style="">really</i> a man or a woman after you get your mitzvah on) but you’re somehow closer.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">And you’ve got numbers and letters to prove it.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Sounds kind of scary—like when you realized you outgrew the shoes in the children’s section and you keep wandering over to look at them longingly.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">But, really it’s kind of a big deal.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Bigger even, than realizing you can’t fit into kids’ Keds.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">But, I’m kind of excited to put it all together and to move on from “undergraduate medical education” and become a scrubby bottom feeder in the medical hierarchy.</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Will I be thinking in the hospitals?</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Or will <i style="">Livin’ On a Prayer</i> continue to define my every move?</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I can’t really answer that now, but I’m excited for the possibilities.</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">I’ve been thinking about all the things that have happened in such a short space of time since I’ve started medical school.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I had a quarter life crisis M1 year; I got married; my cousin died; my family shifted; I became a better friend to some; and a worse friend to a few; and now here I am standing before the proverbial mirror reflecting on it all.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">All the ways I’ve grown and all the confidence that has been shattered and rebuilt, and then shattered, and then…contemplated in medical school.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">What the HELL is this experience?!</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">And what about the people who walk the same halls as you, but don’t say “hello” unless they’ve had a few at a post-exam party?</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Med school is just a weird place.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">It’s like being in a high school movie where there are cliques that lack fluidity and the “ugly girl” is really a “pretty girl” with glasses.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">It seems fake and manufactured at times.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I often wonder if that’s because of what it does to those that walk the path of medicine.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">It homogenizes us and it also breaks us down.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">It creates a sense of accomplishment through an oddly oppressive psychological process—a little bit like the army, but <i style="">slightly</i> more subtle.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Only slightly.</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">These past 2 years have felt like a whirlwind of binging and purging information as I coiled my already curly hair around an index finger.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">More, more, more—nothing is <i style="">ever</i> enough.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">But, I guess the trick is to always keep trying to be better.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Everyday.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">And also kind of knowing your limits.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Like, I mean, I sleep.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I enjoy sleeping and I’m not giving it up for nobody or they mama!</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Plus, we’ll never know it all.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">We are just Pac Mans gobbling up little treats as we whiz on by, but we’ll never know it all.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I find that kind of beautiful and also a little bit horrible.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Sometimes you bust your ass, but that mess was just not on the test.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">And sometimes we get a little bit lucky and the universe (or whomever you believe in) shakes things out in our favor.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">But it’s all about trying, and pushing, and crying, and running, and trying again to be better than the last time.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Or maybe even the best we can be for the moment, given the circumstances.</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">So, maybe I did learn a little about the Pentose Phosphate Pathway, but mostly I learned a lot more about my own humanity.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">And I also took away some keen observations about the people around me.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I won’t ever be sure what isolating classmates, or walking past people as if they were ghosts will do for anyone’s career.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">It just goes to show that IQ and EQ may never meet somewhere in the middle.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">But, it’s alright.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I learned a lot and I didn’t have to do it alone.</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Besides becoming really tight with Goljan over the past year, I’ve accumulated some really beautiful people along the way.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">This experience is definitely something I would never want to do alone.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">With that said, let us continue to be responsible for each other as well as ourselves.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Part of medicine is learning how to care for and be responsible for others.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I think my friends and I have gotten the hang of that.</span></p><p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Happy M2 Mitzvah!</span></p> <!--EndFragment--> <!--EndFragment--> Jadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15141178649507067377noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1066758372615911607.post-47275524890679393872010-03-28T09:57:00.000-07:002010-03-28T10:01:17.511-07:00Filtered Out <meta name="Title" content=""> <meta name="Keywords" content=""> <meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> <meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"> <meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <link style="font-family: lucida grande;" rel="File-List" href="file://localhost/Users/msafiri/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/msoclip/0clip_filelist.xml"> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>865</o:Words> <o:characters>4935</o:Characters> <o:company>UIC College of Medicine</o:Company> <o:lines>41</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>9</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>6060</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; 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mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">I keep trying to figure out where I fit in this city.<span style=""> </span>Odd, yes?<span style=""> </span>Because I am from here.<span style=""> </span>But medical school kind of complicates this notion of “belonging”.<span style=""> </span>I feel like I’m always bouncing around, trying to figure out the <i style="">right</i> place to study.<span style=""> </span>Most of the time, it is school.<span style=""> </span>::ShuDDeR::<span style=""> </span>I can get a great deal of work done when I get a study room—sit there by myself or with Sola.<span style=""> </span>Headphones in our ears—and sometimes hours pass by without much being said.<span style=""> </span>We eat together, we study together, we ride or walk home together.<span style=""> </span>This is often the equivalent of study nirvana for me.<span style=""> </span>Being around someone that doesn’t stress me out is kind of a beautiful thing.<span style=""> </span>And we are good friends.<span style=""> </span>So to share in the evil that is medical school is kind of a bonding experience.<span style=""> </span>Suffering makes people <i style="">really </i>close.<span style=""> </span>I would know—I went to a relatively malignant high school program and also to Yale.<span style=""> </span>The pattern is the same no matter how you cut it.<span style=""> </span>Work-->Downpression-->Camaraderie.<span style=""> </span>This is the simple linear relationship that is my life with school and friends.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">But, sometimes I want to be by myself.<span style=""> </span>I’m an only child.<span style=""> </span>I have this deeply insular world that I need to tap into from time to time.<span style=""> </span>I’m a thinker.<span style=""> </span>I like to feel anonymous, and yet accountable.<span style=""> </span>This is why I end up at cafes and coffee shops.<span style=""> </span>This is why I’ve ended up at Filter Café in Wicker Park two Fridays in a row.<span style=""> </span>This is why I go to other places to study that I won’t name (because I don’t want to see you there, sorry)!<span style=""> </span>And plus, if you’re my real friend, you know where I am.<span style=""> </span>And that’s all that matters.<span style=""> </span>It’s always good to let at least one person know where you are, even when you’re avoiding everyone you know.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Anyway, Raj and I ended up at Filter this past Friday.<span style=""> </span>We ate breakfast and then I opened up Goljan’s Path book.<span style=""> </span>And the magic happened.<span style=""> </span>Then a baby was brought into the establishment.<span style=""> </span>Why would you bring your baby to a place like Filter?<span style=""> </span>In the study section?!<span style=""> </span>To a place where they serve Hipster Hash?<span style=""> </span>And why would you sit next to me?<span style=""> </span>I’m studying.<span style=""> </span>I have a book out, and a pen that is FLYING over paper landing, and earphones in.<span style=""> </span>But the baby was cute, and didn’t make a fuss until she made a fuss and the parents were embarrassed and left.<span style=""> </span>So I scratched “baby sighting” off my list of annoying things that happen when you study.<span style=""> </span>Raj had left by this time, so he wasn’t privy to the hipster ass in my face hours after baby had left.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Why do you need to stand up and type on your computer in the AISLE?<span style=""> </span>Why do you need to put your ASS in my face—up in my vicinity?<span style=""> </span>I wanted, so badly, to say something.<span style=""> </span>But I didn’t want to be that colored chick making a fuss.<span style=""> </span>I guess that’s my problem.<span style=""> </span>I’m of the “pick your battles” variety, but I wanted to cut him.<span style=""> </span>I did.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">And that’s when I realized it.<span style=""> </span>I am not a hipster.<span style=""> </span>And Wicker Park cannot be my study spot.<span style=""> </span>I thought that maybe, just maybe, my predilection for the “underground”, vintage, Passion Pit, and Dirty Projectors aligned me with hipsters.<span style=""> </span>But, now I realize why I’m not a hipster.<span style=""> </span>Reason # 1: I don’t think I’m the only person on the planet!<span style=""> </span>I’m considerate of other human beings.<span style=""> </span>Reason # 2: My ego isn’t tied up in my desire to out-do someone with how ridiculous my clothing can be or how tight my pants are.<span style=""> </span>Reason # 3: I don’t have a NEED to be seen.<span style=""> </span>Reason # 4: I am not from a privileged ethnic group.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><b style="">Reason # 4</b>.<span style=""> </span>This might be the most important of all.<span style=""> </span>Reason # 4 is why Reasons 1-3 exist.<span style=""> </span>There is just something about being privileged that gives people license to do and act as if others aren’t impacted.<span style=""> </span>It’s an overall laissez-faire vibe that permeates all that these people do.<span style=""> </span>You can put your ass in my face because I am invisible to you.<span style=""> </span>I don’t factor into your equation.<span style=""> </span>You can bring your baby to a coffee shop because that won’t bring extra attention to you, especially if you look like everyone else.</span></p><p style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Now, I’m no stranger to racial ambiguity.<span style=""> </span>And I’m not saying that I don’t have certain privileges that others of my own “race” may not.<span style=""> </span>I am aware of that.<span style=""> </span>And that is kind of what separates me from the privileged—a constant reification that I am “other”.<span style=""> </span>Not hipster.<span style=""> </span>Not completely black, not completely white.<span style=""> </span>Not completely anything solid.<span style=""> </span>Just “inter”.</span></p><p style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">So maybe I’ll be scouring this city for other spaces to insert myself.<span style=""> </span>Other places where I can achieve my goals of anonymity for the moment.<span style=""> </span>But, it won’t be Filter.<span style=""> </span>Aside from the vast spread of “nothing like me’s” scattered about the place, the joint gets blasted hot if you sit anywhere near a window.<span style=""> </span>Your name is Filter.<span style=""> </span>Can’t you Filter out the sun?</span></p><p style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">I think this assessment of Filter is a micro-commentary on Wicker Park in general.<span style=""> </span>I like being there because it’s full of action and I like to be in awe of the ridiculous things I see.<span style=""> </span>It’s like anthropological participant observation.<span style=""> </span>They have some cool stores mixed in with the gritty.<span style=""> </span>Most of the food isn’t anything special.<span style=""> </span>And there is a mix of races and ethnicities walking in Wicker Park, or waiting for the next bus.<span style=""> </span>But, I don’t see many “others” <i style="">inside</i> of the more pricey establishments, or even the moderately pricey ones like Filter (expensive for a coffee shop) and Piece (more expensive than commercial pizza joints).<span style=""> </span>All the things that get me into Wicker Park, make me want to run out of it.</span></p><p style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Gentrification is really <i style="">something</i>.<span style=""> </span>But, that is for another blog post.<span style=""> </span>While I can’t wrap my mind around all the things I truly love about Wicker Park—maybe there aren’t any.<span style=""> </span>It’s complicated.<span style=""> </span>It’s a place where I like to observe and draw conclusions—make assessments about the state of young folks in Chicago—contemplate why a girl might wear sheer green stirrup pants and tattered shoes with deliberateness.<span style=""> </span>But, it’s also a place where the big windows are really slits.<span style=""> </span>The people on the outside will stay on the outside.<span style=""> </span>And somehow I got to slip through and join the majority.</span></p><p style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">But, I don’t quite fit.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <!--EndFragment--> Jadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15141178649507067377noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1066758372615911607.post-61986939769132502732010-03-22T19:36:00.000-07:002010-03-22T19:52:48.117-07:00Who's afraid of the big bad body? <meta name="Title" content=""> <meta name="Keywords" content=""> <meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> <meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"> <meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <link rel="File-List" href="file://localhost/Users/msafiri/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/msoclip/0/clip_filelist.xml"> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>320</o:Words> <o:characters>1829</o:Characters> <o:company>UIC College of Medicine</o:Company> <o:lines>15</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>3</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>2246</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">I would post a picture of myself being bent into the shape of the Greek letter, gamma but I am too lazy for that, and my back is still stiff.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Is this not sad?<span style=""> </span>26 and throwing your back out?<span style=""> </span>There is something about this state of inactivity—this surrendering to the desires of the spasming muscle that has made me really productive and go-gettery today.<span style=""> </span>Maybe it’s because I couldn’t GO ANYWHERE.<span style=""> </span>I stayed away from the toxic environment that is school.<span style=""> </span>There was no one to socialize with (except via the InterWebs) and a whole lot of daily goals to cross of me list!<span style=""> </span>And so that is what me did!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Was Oprah the only person I felt I truly connected with today?<span style=""> </span>Yes.<span style=""> </span>I watched her show on women who don’t know their men and momentarily considered that I might not know my own husband.<span style=""> </span>But then I chalked it up to ‘so what’ and started the day off smoothly with a Psychopathology lecture.<span style=""> </span>Then I wrote more of my Pathology study guide.<span style=""> </span>Then I listened and took notes on a Pulmonary Path lecture.<span style=""> </span>Then another Psychopathology lecture.<span style=""> </span>And maybe I’ll do another—but I feel like that’d be pushing it.<span style=""> </span>I’m tired.<span style=""> </span>There are NSAIDs rushing through my system along with the risotto we decided to make for dinner and all the Kettle corn I ate after that.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Although I hate getting sick or being in any kind of physical pain maybe sometimes pain is the body’s way of keeping us in check.<span style=""> </span>Maybe the body’s really saying, “check ME out for a change!”<span style=""> </span>Cause really, the body is in charge.<span style=""> </span>And as my friend, Nic, once mentioned to me, the body will turn against you with the quickness if given the opportunity.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Today I surrendered to the pain of my aching back, bent over like a cane-less crone, and I worked my ass off.<span style=""> </span>But can you imagine all the things rushing through my mind as I contemplated spinal cord lesions?<span style=""> </span>Could this be due to an upper motor neuron lesion?<span style=""> </span>Lower?<span style=""> </span>MS?<span style=""> </span>Lou Gherig’s?<span style=""> </span>Med school is a hypochondriac’s worst nightmare—and we all think we have something!
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">In a way, today gave me a chance to press the reset button.<span style=""> </span>It was me, my checklist, and the sunlight streaming through the blinds.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;">I hope tomorrow is just like today—just without the pain. I get it, body. You’re in charge.</span><span style=""><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"> </span> </span></span></p> <!--EndFragment--> Jadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15141178649507067377noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1066758372615911607.post-37258620505707948342010-03-19T08:41:00.000-07:002010-03-19T09:03:13.047-07:00Spread the love around <meta name="Title" content=""> <meta name="Keywords" content=""> <meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> <meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"> <meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <link rel="File-List" href="file://localhost/Users/msafiri/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/msoclip/0clip_filelist.xml"> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>729</o:Words> <o:characters>4156</o:Characters> <o:company>UIC College of Medicine</o:Company> <o:lines>34</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>8</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>5103</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">After a 4 mile run in the outside world (not the gym) I came to a realization while in the shower.<span style=""> </span>The reason why I’m in medical school (even though most days I question my decision) is centered strongly on the premise of love.<span style=""> </span>Yeah, it sounds cheesy.<span style=""> </span>But, the reason why I’m sweating out these boring basic sciences is because I have a deep love for people, and an appreciation for how circumstances shape the life course.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">On Wednesday, I had my last day of Service Learning Program where we worked at a shelter on Chicago’s west side called Cathedral Shelter.<span style=""> </span>We put on a showcase with all the different groups and their experiences.<span style=""> </span>Some worked in a domestic violence, others did HIV/AIDS, and another group centered around immigrant health.<span style=""> </span>My group was homelessness—hence the shelter.<span style=""> </span>The object of the program is to assign a continuity patient in each of these categories to students participating in SLP</span><span style="font-size:85%;">.<span style=""> </span>I had two—a woman and her daughter.<span style=""> </span>I won’t go into their story but I will post here the things I read at the showcase.<span style=""> </span>They are a bit reflective of several homeless experiences I was privy to hearing about.<span style=""> </span>These pieces demonstrate and remind me why I’m walking this path.<span style=""> </span>And I think I should post them so that when I get all hatey-hatey I can track my own cyberprints and basically slap myself back to the end goal—to infiltrate medicine with deep insight and care for folks.<span style=""> </span>It’s a lot more rare than you’d think.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">The first piece was part of an intro:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">We’ve all engaged in some debate about health care access given the current political climate.<span style=""> </span>Not having insurance is a barrier to health and being unemployed is also a barrier to health care access.<span style=""> </span>Imagine being homeless on top of that?<span style=""> </span>Health care might not even be a priority when your basic needs aren’t being met.<span style=""> </span>Surely, eating and safety come before seeking access to health care.<span style=""> </span>Unstable housing situations or a relatively nomadic lifestyle make it difficult for people to commit to healthcare and have consistent access.<span style=""> </span>It might be easy to wait in line at Cook County in order to take care of immediate concerns like a wound, but taking medication for hypertension is opening up a whole ‘nother can of worms.<span style=""> </span>Medication adherence entails being able to afford medication, pick it up, and keep it safe.<span style=""> </span>That isn’t necessarily a top priority for homeless patients.<span style=""> </span>And for some, it isn’t even a possibility.<span style=""> </span>Creating a sustainable health care system that works for people WITH homes has been an uphill battle in this country.<span style=""> </span>Creating a system that works for homeless people is even more trying.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">We have found that the individuals we interacted with at Cathedral Shelter usually came from families with substance abuse issues or suffered some degree of trauma—whether it was war, the death of a loved one, or incarceration.<span style=""> </span>This knowledge led to our appreciation of the systemic and cyclical nature of homelessness.<span style=""> </span>An unstable childhood often begets an unstable adulthood.<span style=""> </span>The concept of a “level playing field” was shattered by our interactions with the residents at Cathedral Shelter.<span style=""> </span>And our concept of homelessness was simplified.<span style=""> </span>A homeless person is someone without a home—not a lazy person, or an uneducated person, or someone that lacks insight.<span style=""> </span>There is no “stereotypical” homeless person.<span style=""> </span>We don’t get to choose the families we are born into, or the values they demonstrate for us.<span style=""> </span>Instead, we use those things to navigate the world, however steadily or unsteadily.<span style=""> </span>If anything, our experiences at Cathedral Shelter have unified the common human experience and reminded us that at the core we have far more similarities than differences, despite our fortunes or lack thereof.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">And this last bit is a poem.<span style=""> </span>Poetry is <span style=""> </span>a major element of my life.<span style=""> </span>It helps me distill the world around me so I can make sense of the things I might not be able to control.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p style="font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:85%;"><b style="">
<br /></b></span></p><p style="font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:85%;"><b style="">
<br /></b></span></p><p style="font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal" ><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: lucida grande;"> <meta name="Title" content=""> <meta name="Keywords" content=""> <meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> <meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"> <meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <link rel="File-List" href="file://localhost/Users/msafiri/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/msoclip/0/clip_filelist.xml"> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>164</o:Words> <o:characters>935</o:Characters> <o:company>UIC College of Medicine</o:Company> <o:lines>7</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>1</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>1148</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><b style="">Taking Flight</b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><b style=""><o:p></o:p></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Suffering has</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">No gender</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Has no definite</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Shape</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Lies on thresholds</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Sleeps on streets</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Couches</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Park benches</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">And temporary beds</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Lacks comfort</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Trust</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Space</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Only circles</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Of past</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Encroaching on present</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Childhoods</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Where liquor flowed freely</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Relationships that started sweetly</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">With heroin kisses</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Ending with heroin and love withdrawal</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Suffering has a degree</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Has a home</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Had a home</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">In and out of homes</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Had a stable relationship</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">With a substance</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">With abuse</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">With loneliness</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">With loss</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Guilt</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Famine</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Feast</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Love lost</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Love left</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Love never given</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Behind jail bars</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Lies jailbirds</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Singing out</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">For glory</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">For a better way</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Wanting to be treated</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">With humanity</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Respect</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Because no matter</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">The circumstance</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Those that have</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">The fight or the fuel</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">To dream their way</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Out of limited</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Existence</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Know that respect</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Is a right</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Not a privilege</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Suffering </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Cycles on</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Has a beginning</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">And for some, </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Has an end</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Sing with us</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">A song for the</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Jailbird</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">For the sage</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">For the frightened child</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Turned adult</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Shaped by life’s circumstances</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">But not defined by them</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">It is not our boundaries</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">That shape us</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">But when we take flight</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">And how we escape</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> COPYRIGHT 2010 JADE PAGKAS-BATHER
<br /></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment--> <span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><b style=""><o:p></o:p></b></span><p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size:10pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></span></p><!--EndFragment--> Jadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15141178649507067377noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1066758372615911607.post-17226647362080001762010-03-16T16:48:00.000-07:002010-03-16T17:22:23.306-07:00I Ain't a Playa I Just Think a Lot!<span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span> <meta name="Title" content=""> <meta name="Keywords" content=""> <meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> <meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"> <meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <link style="font-family: lucida grande;" rel="File-List" href="file://localhost/Users/msafiri/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/msoclip/0clip_filelist.xml"> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>528</o:Words> <o:characters>3014</o:Characters> <o:company>UIC College of Medicine</o:Company> <o:lines>25</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>6</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>3701</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">I totally wasn’t planning on writing a blog entry just this minute.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Before me lies my Neuro Clinical Pathophysiology notes, my beloved Sigg bottle, and the subscription</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">slip for <i style="">Runner’s World</i> which I have used to note down my daily tasks.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Most days are like this.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Work out, come to school and do work independently (FAR, FAR AWAY FROM A CLASSROOM!), check my Twitter, check gmail, attend meetings (if any), go home, eat, listen to class recordings, take notes, sleep, REPEAT!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">This is why medical school just feels boring sometimes.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">And don’t start with that, “Try going to class mess”!</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Nuh-uh!</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Better grades without attending classes proves that not all of us learn by being talked at.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">That’s just the problem.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">We are mass-educated because people think this is the most effective manner to distribute knowledge.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">But, the fact that only about 20 of 186 or so students regularly attend class should tell someone out there that the other 166 of us are finding alternatives to archaic learning modules.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">In this space, I have felt completely…marginalized.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">My writing talents have been swept under the rug except when I choose to write independently or write a scholarship essay.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Most days, I fight “dronedom” with fashion.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I dress a little out of pocket or I toss on a dress to boost morale.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">If this is my “job”, I should dress the part, right? Here's a sample from today:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p><span style="font-size:85%;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_8tAZU99bRUI/S6AdnFLUVgI/AAAAAAAAAAs/ELgI83XlmK4/s1600-h/HealthFair+001.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_8tAZU99bRUI/S6AdnFLUVgI/AAAAAAAAAAs/ELgI83XlmK4/s320/HealthFair+001.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449388106360051202" border="0" /></a></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p><span style=";font-size:85%;color:red;" ><o:p></o:p></span> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">When I’m not hating on med school or studying, I’m usually filling my time with family or friends.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Sometimes I’m wandering or riding the train (one of my FAVORITE things to do in Chicago).</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">But this past Saturday, I got my volunteer on!</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">30+ med students put on a Student National Medical Assocation (SNMA) Health Fair in Chicago’s Englewood community.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">For those who don’t know, Englewood is one of the neighborhoods in Chicago hit hardest by HIV/AIDS and is also one of the poorest in the city.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Ah yes, lest we not forget that health follows wealth (to a point).</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">At any rate, I felt like my comrades and I got together for the greater good of a community that needs physicians.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">We provided basic screening services such as: BMI, cholesterol, blood glucose, musculoskeletal, sexual health, neurology, etc.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">We also had two physicians on hand to give consultation to attendees.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span> </p> <span style="font-size:85%;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8tAZU99bRUI/S6AeJPOtvyI/AAAAAAAAAA8/nBcYU1pYoHU/s1600-h/HealthFair+005.jpg">
<br /></a></span> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span> </p> <span style="font-size:85%;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8tAZU99bRUI/S6AeIiMR-LI/AAAAAAAAAA0/1jqlnVvwz_g/s1600-h/HealthFair+002.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8tAZU99bRUI/S6AeIiMR-LI/AAAAAAAAAA0/1jqlnVvwz_g/s320/HealthFair+002.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449388681084401842" border="0" /></a></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p><span style="font-size:85%;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8tAZU99bRUI/S6AeJPOtvyI/AAAAAAAAAA8/nBcYU1pYoHU/s1600-h/HealthFair+005.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8tAZU99bRUI/S6AeJPOtvyI/AAAAAAAAAA8/nBcYU1pYoHU/s320/HealthFair+005.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449388693174206242" border="0" /></a></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">The event was a success for sure—well attended despite rain, and well-staffed by med school folk.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">But, it left me with a few questions:</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">1) Where is the sustainability in such an effort?</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">2) When most patients are uninsured are they waiting for the next health fair to address their health needs? 3) What can medical students do to fill health gaps in depressed communities?</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I love that we do good and feel good helping communities, but I can’t help feeling that health fairs are a sort of sloppy band aid.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I’m not saying we shouldn’t volunteer, but maybe we need to start partnering with clinics like Mile Square (a Federally Qualified Health Center) that agrees to take on a certain percentage of uninsured patients.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Too bad FQHCs are too few and far between—not to mention far too saturated.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:85%;">What’s an anthropologist-turned doctor to do?</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I see all of these inequalities and glitches in a system, not to mention a basic dirth of empathy between physicians and patients.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">But, I’m just ONE person.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">We need to be indoctrinated and educated in ways that don’t contribute to our growing apathy.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">I’ve read too many articles that demonstrate med student loss of empathy over the course of four years of medical school.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Bridging gaps is really hard.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Bridging gaps with a workforce that is disparaged and burnt out is <i style="">even</i> harder.</span></p> <!--EndFragment--> <span style=";font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;" >
<br /></span><span style=";font-family:lucida grande;font-size:85%;" ></span> Jadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15141178649507067377noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1066758372615911607.post-48008178806357652022010-03-13T04:56:00.000-08:002010-03-16T18:26:55.483-07:00Why Am I Here? <meta name="Title" content=""> <meta name="Keywords" content=""> <meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> <meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"> <meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 2008"> <link style="font-family: lucida grande;" rel="File-List" href="file://localhost/Users/msafiri/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/msoclip/0/clip_filelist.xml"> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>199</o:Words> <o:characters>1136</o:Characters> <o:company>UIC College of Medicine</o:Company> <o:lines>9</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>2</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>1395</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p style="font-family: lucida grande;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">Welcome to <i style="">Styloid Process</i> where medicine, fashion, and the metamorphosis within collide.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Borne out of a keen desire to expand my self-expression while in my second year of medical school, I’ve decided to make internet footprints and share with you my thoughts.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Mostly, because I feel slightly hampered by med school and the fact that sometimes you just have to memorize things and think less.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">The irony, of course, is that when I’m actually a doctor I’ll be doing A LOT of thinking!</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">In the meantime, I’ve decided to write <i style="">Styloid Process</i> to prove to myself that I’m not a boring drone—that I have passions, talents, and interests.</span><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p><p style="font-family: lucida grande;font-family:arial;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span></p><p style="font-family: lucida grande;font-family:lucida grande;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:85%;">The blog will be a montage of my random thoughts, musings on medical school and medicine, and there will be some fashion features—namely eco-designers that I am passionate about, or outfits I’ve thrown together through careful or impulsive construction.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Through this project I hope to progress through my metamorphosis as blunted medical student to inspired doctor.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">While it’s easy to remember why I wanted to go into medicine sometimes it’s hard to remember why I’m still in medical school!</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">But, I think having passions outside of school will keep me grounded and focused.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">And maybe I’ll start to remember why a Yale-educated anthropology major and poet-photographer decided to come to medical school.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span><span style="font-size:85%;">Let the journey begin!</span></p> <!--EndFragment--> Jadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15141178649507067377noreply@blogger.com0